Neythan Di Gabriel Monteiro / Italia

Neythan

Di Gabriel Monteiro

Possibilità di revisione, aggiunte, esclusioni.

Le farfalle ritornano sempre ... è la loro natura, alcune delle specie, sono nate lontane, vivono vite, nella loro vita, ma tornano sempre al loro vivaio, il loro luogo di nascita. In un certo senso molti di noi sono gli esseri umani, non importa quali meccanismi complessi che abbiamo costruito per adattarsi ad un ambiente sociale o familiare ... camminiamo molti modi e modi diversi nella nostra vita e quando meno aspettiamo la nostra natura più primaria Emerge al Conscious, facendoci ciò che siamo, non importa quanti strati di nuovi che abbiamo costruito intorno ad esso!

Non sono Neythan.

Neythan era intrappolato dentro di sé, posseduto 2, 3, 4 o tante personalità necessarie per coesistere con i suoi desideri, i propri sentimenti, i bisogni, i doveri imposti e i doveri che si aspettavano da lui.

Sono Lucas, l'amore che Neythan ha proibito di sentire, sono la sensazione, il desiderio di appartenenza che esisteva dentro di lui da un altro uomo, oggi lo capisco, più in passato quando ci siamo conosciuti, sono stato anche confuso, in un'altra profondità In modo meno evidente, sperimentando meno personalità ... ma anche bloccato nel mio mondo, nella mia cella, che oggi capisco, non è stata costruita da noi ... siamo nati lì e abbiamo seguito le regole e per adattarsi Nelle forme scelte per noi, in Deformato, diventano qualcosa tra, le nostre vocazioni, i doni e i desideri e il carattere che ci si aspetta.

Sono Lucas, per l'ironia del destino medico. Molto bianco dalla standard brasiliana, capelli rossi, ho molti capelli corti, alti, In quel momento di una religione chiusa, Neythan apparteneva alla stessa religione

Quando ti ho conosciuto? Quando ti ho vista per la prima volta?

Non ho davvero idea, so che ero ancora molto giovane, ed è come se fosse stata tutta la mia vita da parte mia.

Come parente, un amico, qualcuno che fa parte della tua identità.

Anche se è molto chiaro, definito per me la presenza dell'attrazione omosessuale nella personalità di Neythan, è possibile che sia stato bisessuale per la natura, dal momento che mostrava interesse per il sesso opposto quando era vicino ai suoi amici eterosessuali sessuali. Anche se ci sono omosessuali che persino si sposano, anche sostenendo di non avere vera attrazione per le donne ... Le poche relazioni di relazioni o incontri che ho sentito su Neythan con il sesso opposto hanno implicato storie confuse e male risolte ... più è comune tra i bisessuali .

Essere bisessuali spiegherebbe la sua insistenza sulla religione, molti bisessuali si sentono socialmente più comodi facendo finta di essere solo eterosessuali, quindi sono socialmente comodi e sono accettati, spesso optando per una doppia vita, di volta in volta, quando si sentono nuovamente l'attrazione omosessuale.

Neythan, non posso definire il suo colore, era bianco, ma non era né arancione né rosa, capelli e occhi color miele, era corpulento, sempre in lotta per controllare il suo peso ... era estremamente affascinante, la sua comunicazione non verbale, Molto efficiente ... anche se con nome tedesco, la sua vera origine era italiana, il suo cognome è classificato come essere toponímico, perché la sua origine è geografica.

Neythan, con cosce spesse come pilastri di un tempio, sempre suscitati sessualmente, con il volume penile nella mosca evidenziata ... espressione del corpo e del volto del cacciatore ... a volte contrastata con il vortice dei sentimenti che ha mantenuto, era strano perché solo lui Provocato, era addicted per sedurre ... e lo ha fatto con la precisione di un'aquila.

Pettorale con la camicia sociale aperta, l'invito per un vino dopo l'adorazione religiosa, nella strada deserta della casa dove stava vivendo ... la scoperta che il desiderio di stare tra di loro può essere più grande di qualsiasi convenzione, o l'identità Che ci è stato imposto!

Quando gli occhi toccano più forti degli abbracci e il calore dell'altro corpo emana e catturi le loro emanazioni come un'antenna le immagini ... Quando non nascondiamo più le nostre intenzioni più intime, quando il travestimento cessa di avere senso ... c'erano Incontri e disaccordi in quei momenti tra me e lui ...

Fino al giorno delle scale.

Sono andato a svegliarlo presto, come abbiamo combinato, per fare un lavoro insieme ... sono entrato nella casa dei suoi parenti e affittuari che, quando mi hanno lasciato, mi hanno detto di andare nella sua stanza che era la parte ... come Mi avvicinai a sdraiarsi, la finestra della camera da letto dove visse era aperta,

Neythan era il tipo di uomo meticoloso che controllava ogni dettaglio di quello che dovresti vedere e capire ... quella finestra "mai" era aperta ... questo era il commento di uno dei parenti affittuari, osservando da lontano che la finestra era aperta ... "Deve essere sveglio, perché quella finestra non è mai aperta al mattino!"

Mi avvicinai e lì mi fermai accanto alla jamela, sapevo che voleva essere osservato, gli affittuari partirono immediatamente per le loro opere. Senza camicia, assimilò la mia presenza, passò un po 'di tempo per assicurarsi che non tornassero ... si spostò sul letto, brulicante, di media altezza, gemette un nome maschile come se fosse cazzo ... stava dormendo solo Come sto in quel momento che scrivo ...

Mi ha assicurato, sicuramente ha eliminato tutte le domande che avevo su quello che gli piaceva. Dopo qualche istante la fece svegliarsi e andò a fare una doccia nella casa dei suoi parenti affittati ... lasciò la porta della porta aperta e teneva il dialogo con me, tenendomi vicino alla porta ... lo vidi Nuda sul lato, quasi camminavo dentro ... ero già molto eccitato fisicamente, con il mio volume che segnava i pantaloni dei pantaloni sociali ...

... uscì dal bagno, pantaloni con bretelle, petto nudo, eravamo molto vicino, sentì la mia erezione nella sua coscia mentre mi passava verso una scala che portò ad un ampio balcone al primo piano della Casa di Parenti del locatario, si fermò su un terzo dei gradini ... mi aspettava e mi ha offerto aiuto per salire sulla scala, questo è stato completamente inutile, mi ha toccato il braccio, l'ho baciato, per prima cosa traendo i pantaloni Al mio corpo, e lo sentii colpire con la forza delle mie braccia.

Non so come ci siamo alzati sul portico ... so solo per la prima volta su quel pavimento in ceramica, quella sensazione di appartenere al corpo di un altro ... quando non si può razionalmente definire dove si inizia e finisce l'altro ...

Neythan aveva pochi capelli corti, con solo piume sul petto, le braccia, ero più furrier, era forte, ma l'ho dominato, lo sono entrato, l'ho penetrato in vari modi, mentre ha delirato con piacere ... quando sono tornato , Abbiamo baciato, abbiamo leccato, leccammo, e abbiamo alternato tra posizioni passive e attive ... il suo pene era grosso, anche il mio è ...

Quando uno di noi si è dato prima alla fatica, l'altro ha accettato la richiesta e si è riposato tra carezze, piccoli morsi e baci, che ci hanno portato presto alla ripresa dell'attività sessuale, siamo andati all'esaurimento dei nostri corpi ... era Già nel pomeriggio, quando si addormentava come un bambino tra le mie braccia, il vento sottile ondeggiava i suoi sottili fili di capelli leggeri ...

Sentii che si svegliò, cercò di continuare senza movimento a finta di dormire ... forse voleva evitare il mio sguardo, dopo tutto questo, forse non era la stessa personalità che era lì vicino al mio corpo, forse era un Personalità più conveniente la doppia vita che Lui, e ora anche io vivo

Il controllo di fatto era inevitabile, si alzò in cerca di un orologio immaginario sul suo polso, evitava di vedermi nudo, "devo andare là" ... mi sono alzato, mi ha evitato mentre ha regolato i suoi vestiti, sono andato da lui , Lo tenevo stretta, balbettò qualcosa come "ora non dà, o qualcuno può raggiungere" ... ho tenuto il suo volto con una seria espressione e lo ha costretto a baciarmi ... le sue mani sul petto, Mi ha tirato via ... Lo guardai fermamente, "non farai questo a me!" Ho detto, mi sono sentito scuotendo dentro ... mi ha lasciato lì, e corse fuori dalla casa.

Il controllo del fatto era inevitabile, si alzò in cerca di un orologio immaginario sul suo polso, evitava di vedermi nudo, "devo andare là" ... mi sono alzato, ho evitato mentre ho regolato i suoi vestiti, sono andato da lui, L'ho tenuto stretto, ha balbettato qualcosa come "ora non dà, o qualcuno può raggiungere" ... ho tenuto il suo volto con una espressione seria e mi ha costretto a baciarmi ... le sue mani sul mio torace mi hanno tirato Lontano, mi ha lasciato lì e ha lasciato la casa in fretta.

In qualche modo penso di stare lì per molti, molti anni, aspettandolo che si fermi in mezzo alle scale, o tornassi, mi baciami o mi abbracci, a volte quando penso, lo vedo a Meno guardando indietro ...

Ma la vita va in una direzione unica che costruiamo con le nostre scelte ... prima di quel giorno, eravamo datati molto, oggi so che stava datando, siamo andati al centro commerciale, siamo rimasti fino a tardi al bar, dove il nostro Le anime toccarono ... più di quella persona Non era la persona che "voleva essere", più di quanto egli desiderasse di adattarsi, di far parte di quell'intero sistema religioso ... e di creare meccanismi per sopravvivere lì ... e che Distorce chiunque ...

L'immagine di lui mi causa ancora una commozione un'emozione molto forte, perché ho seguito molto lungo questo stesso cammino di lui, per essere quello che altri aspettavano da me, che ha dato gioia, orgoglio a tutto questo sistema, quella cultura che proiettò con amore il mio carcere cellula.

Neythan per me, rimane in un passato che mi ricordo bene, che contiene le esperienze che mi hanno portato a scegliere di vivere il mio sé più primario, non posso dimenticare o disprezzare qualcuno in cui ho visto l'anima mia riflessa.

Tuttavia credo che al massimo sia oggi per Neythan, come una foto molto vecchia, il cui carattere è cancellato, e non ci interroghiamo o possiamo ricordare chi era ... in uno scenario in cui avevo importanza nel passato di Neythan, sarei un fantasma senza volto o un'identità che riflette solo una parte di lui e la sua vita passata, che preferisce mantenere nell'oblio, è sepolta.

Certamente attraversiamo gli stessi confronti, i timori e anche i terrori interni.

Ha davvero trovato la sua strada?

Potrebbe forse essere in grado di modellarsi secondo i suoi obiettivi?

Senza deformare il tuo personaggio, o con diverse personalità e doppie vite?

Lo spero!

Per un po 'di tempo dopo non l'ho visto ... gli ho scritto, penso che sia stato il mio errore, ho esposto una ferita nel suo petto che potrebbe essere, e credo che entrambi non ci sentiamo bene ...

Non mi parlò, lo incontrai socialmente nelle riunioni della nostra religione, gli ho parlato, gli ho chiesto, mi ha ignorato, mi ha guardato negli occhi con attenzione, come se fossi silenziata, né lui né io Erano pronti per le conseguenze delle risposte che abbiamo cercato ...

Ha passato più tempo e è andato a trovarmi a casa con alcuni amici in comune, per dirmi che sta per tornare in patria, alla sua famiglia, ha finito il corso che era venuto a fare ... mi ha detto che ho percepito La sua dolce emozione, era pieno di speranza negli occhi, aveva ragioni, era giovane, andava verso un altro riavvio ... Mi sentivo paura per lui, dopo tutto quello che l'amavo, come un amico, un partner, e tutto il resto che Avrebbe potuto essere stato!

So che Neythan riavvia la tua vita ad altre volte, anche molto giovane, Neythan era già bloccato in un ciclo di ricordi, malinconia di nostalgia, vecchia dentro, portando tante vite ... molto di più dei ricordi di quello che ha vissuto, ho visto Nel suo sguardo sempre appassionato, i ricordi dell'immaginazione, tutto quello che avrebbe potuto vivere!

"Anche se questo può riflettere la realtà di molti giovani religiosi che si trovano di fronte a scoperte della loro omosessualità o bisessualità durante la costruzione delle loro indenze, qualsiasi rassomiglianza a una storia che saprai sarà solo, solo una coincidenza!

Neythan بقلم غابرييل مونتيرو

Neythan

بقلم غابرييل مونتيرو

إمكانية المراجعة والإضافات والاستثناءات.

الفراشات تأتي دائما مرة أخرى ... فمن طبيعتها، وبعض الأنواع، ويولدون بعيدا، ويعيشون حياة، في حياتهم، ولكن دائما العودة إلى الحضانة، ومكان ولادة. بطريقة كثيرين منا البشر مثل ذلك، بغض النظر عن الآليات المعقدة التي بنيناها للتكيف مع البيئة الاجتماعية أو العائلية ... نحن نسير العديد من الطرق والطرق المختلفة في حياتنا، وعندما نتوقع أكثر طبيعة لدينا الأولية يخرج في وعي، مما يجعلنا ما نحن عليه، بغض النظر عن عدد طبقات جديدة بنيت حوله!

أنا لست نيثان.

كان نيثان محاصرا داخل نفسه، يمتلك 2 أو 3 أو 4 أو العديد من الشخصيات اللازمة للتعايش مع رغباته ومشاعره واحتياجاته واجباته المفروضة والواجبات المتوقعة منه.

أنا لوكاس، الحب الذي منعه نيثان أن يشعر، وأنا الإحساس، والرغبة في الانتماء التي كانت موجودة داخله من قبل رجل آخر، اليوم وأنا أفهم ذلك، أكثر في الماضي عندما التقينا، كنت أيضا الخلط، في عمق آخر ، وبطريقة أقل وضوحا، تعاني من عدد أقل من الشخصيات ... ولكن أيضا مؤمن في بلدي العالم، في زنزانتي، التي أفهمها اليوم، لم يبناه لنا ... لقد ولدنا هناك واتبعنا القواعد، وتناسب في الأشكال المختارة لنا، في مشوهة، تصبح شيئا بين، مهنتنا، والهدايا والرغبات، والطابع المتوقع منا.

أنا لوكاس، من سخرية المصير الطبي. أبيض جدا من قبل معيار البرازيلي، الشعر الأحمر، ولدي العديد من شعر الجسم، وارتفاع، في ذلك الوقت من الدين مغلقة، نيثان ينتمي إلى نفس الدين

متى التقيت بك؟ متى أراك للمرة الأولى؟

ليس لدي حقا أي فكرة، وأنا أعلم أنني لا تزال صغيرة جدا، وانها مثل انه كان حياتي كلها من جانبي.

كقرب، صديق، شخص هو جزء من هويتك.

على الرغم من أنه من الواضح جدا، محددة بالنسبة لي وجود جاذبية مثلية في شخصية نيثان، فمن الممكن أنه كان ثنائي الجنس من حيث الطبيعة، لأنه كان لإظهار الاهتمام بالجنس الآخر عندما كان قريبا من أصدقائه الجنسيين جنسيا. على الرغم من أن هناك مثليون جنسيا حتى الذين يتزوجون، حتى يدعون أنهم ليس لديهم جاذبية حقيقية للنساء ... التقارير القليلة من العلاقة أو اللقاءات التي سمعت عن نيثان مع الجنس الآخر تنطوي على الخلط وحل قصص سيئة ... أكثر شيوعا بين ثنائيي الجنس .

ووجود مخنثين من شأنه أن يفسر إصراره على الدين، فإن العديد من ثنائيي الجنس يشعرون بأنهم أكثر راحة من الناحية الاجتماعية، وهم يتظاهرون بأنهم غير متغايرين فقط، لذلك هم مريحون اجتماعيا، ويتم قبولهم، وغالبا ما يختارون حياة مزدوجة، من وقت لآخر، عندما يشعرون بجاذبية مثلية مرة أخرى.

نيثان، لا أستطيع تحديد لونه، كان أبيض، لكنه لم يكن برتقالي ولا وردية، والعسل الملونة الشعر والعينين، وكان متلهف، وكافح دائما للسيطرة على وزنه ... كان ساحرا للغاية، والاتصالات غير اللفظية، فعالة جدا ... على الرغم من أن مع الاسم الألماني، كان أصله الحقيقي الإيطالي، وتصنف لقبها مثل كونه توبونيميكو، لأن أصلها الجغرافي.

نيثان، مع الفخذين سميكة مثل أركان المعبد، ودائما أثارت جنسيا، مع حجم القضيب في ذبابة الضوء ... الجسم والتعبير الوجهي للصياد ... النقيض في بعض الأحيان مع زوبعة من المشاعر التي احتفظ بها، كان غريبا لأنه فقط استفزاز، كان مدمن لإغواء ... وفعلت ذلك مع دقة النسر.

بيكتورال مع بلوزة اجتماعية مفتوحة، دعوة للنبيذ بعد العبادة الدينية، في الشارع المهجور من المنزل حيث كان يعيش ... الاكتشاف أن الرغبة في أن تكون مع بعضها البعض يمكن أن تكون أكبر من أي اتفاقية، أو الهوية التي فرضت علينا!

عندما تلمس العينين أقوى من العناق، وتنبعث حرارة جسم الآخر وتلتقط انبثاقها كهوائي الصور ... عندما لم نكن نخفى نوايانا الأعمق، عندما يتوقف التمويه عن معنى ... كانت هناك اللقاءات والخلافات في تلك اللحظات بيني وبينه ...

حتى يوم الدرج.

ذهبت لأوقظه في وقت مبكر، ونحن مجتمعة، للقيام بعمل معا ... دخلت بيت أقاربه والمستأجرين الذين، عندما كانوا يغادرون، قال لي أن أذهب إلى غرفته التي كانت جزءا ... كما اقترب من انه كان مستلقيا، نافذة غرفة النوم حيث عاش كان مفتوحا،

كان نيثان هو نوع من الرجل الدقيق الذي يسيطر على كل التفاصيل من ما يجب أن نرى وفهم ... أن نافذة "أبدا" كان مفتوحا ... وكان هذا تعليق أحد أقارب المستأجر، ومراقبة من بعيد أن النافذة كانت مفتوحة ... "يجب أن يكون مستيقظا، لأن هذه النافذة لا يفتح أبدا في الصباح!"

اقتربت وهناك توقفت بجوار جاميلا، عرف أنه يريد أن يلاحظ، غادر المستأجرين على الفور لأعمالهم. كان القميص بلا شك، واستوعب وجودي، وقضى بعض الوقت للتأكد من أنهم لن يعودوا ... تحول على السرير، برقع، من ارتفاع متوسط، تعلق اسم المذكر كما لو كان سخيف ... كان نائما فقط كما أنا في تلك اللحظة التي أكتب ...

وأكد لي، بالتأكيد بما فيه الكفاية أنه محو أي أسئلة كان لي حول ما كان يحب أيضا. بعد بضع لحظات جعلها تستيقظ وذهبت للاستحمام في بيت أقاربه المستأجرين ... ترك باب الحمام مفتوحا وأبقت الحوار معي وأبقيت على مقربة من الباب ... رأيته عارية على الجانب، مشيت تقريبا في ... كنت بالفعل متحمس جدا جسديا، مع حجم بلدي بمناسبة السراويل من السراويل الاجتماعية ...

... خرج من الحمام، والسراويل مع الحمالات، والصدر العارية، وكنا قريبين جدا، وقال انه شعر الانتصاب بلدي في فخذه مرة أخرى كما مرت لي نحو الدرج الذي أدى إلى شرفة كبيرة في الطابق 1 من المنزل من أقارب المستأجر، توقف على ثلث الخطوات ... انتظر لي، وعرضت لي مساعدة لتسلق الدرج، وهذا كان لا لزوم لها تماما، لمست ذراعي، قبلت له، أول سحب من خلال الحمالات السراويل إلى جسدي، وشعرت به جفل مع قوة ذراعي.

أنا لا أعرف كيف وصلنا هناك على الشرفة ... أنا أعرف فقط لأول مرة على تلك الأرضيات السيراميك، وهذا الشعور بالانتماء إلى جثة آخر ... عندما لا يمكنك تحديد عقلانية حيث تبدأ ونهاية الأخرى ...

كان نيثان لديه القليل من شعر الجسم، مع ريش فقط على صدره والذراعين، وكنت فريه، وكان قويا، ولكن أنا هيمنت عليه، دخلت إليه، اخترقت له بطرق مختلفة، في حين انه ديليريياتد مع المتعة ... عندما عدت ، نحن قبلنا، نحن لعق، لعق، ونحن بالتناوب بين المواقف السلبية والنشطة ... كان قضيبه سميكة، الألغام أيضا ...

عندما أعطى أحدنا نفسه لأول مرة للالارتياح، والآخر قبلت الطلب واستراح بين المداعبات، لدغات صغيرة، والقبلات، الأمر الذي أدى بنا قريبا إلى استئناف النشاط الجنسي، ذهبنا إلى استنفاد أجسادنا ... كان بالفعل في فترة ما بعد الظهر عندما جرف مثل طفل في ذراعي، ركزت الرياح خفية خيوطه رقيقة من الشعر الخفيف ...

شعرت أنه استيقظ، وحاول أن يستمر دون حركة تتظاهر بالنوم ... ربما أراد أن يتفادى نظري، بعد كل شيء، ربما لم يكن نفس الشخصية التي كانت موجودة بجانب جسدي، ربما كان شخصية أكثر ملاءمة الحياة المزدوجة له، والآن أنا أيضا أن يعيش

كان التحقق من الوقائع حتميا، فبحث عن ساعة خيالية على معصمه، وتجنب رؤيتي عارية، "يجب أن أذهب إلى هناك" ... فاستيقظت، وتجنبني أثناء تعديل ملابسه، وذهبت إليه ، وأنا عقدته ضيق، وقال انه تعثر شيء مثل "الآن أنها لا تعطي، أو شخص يمكن أن تصل" ... أنا عقد وجهه مع تعبير جدي، وأجبره على تقبيل لي ... يديه على صدري، سحبتني بعيدا ... نظرت إليه ثابتة، "لن تفعل هذا بالنسبة لي!" قلت، شعرت نفسي تهتز داخل ... تركني هناك، وسارع للخروج من المنزل.

كان التحقق من الوقائع حتميا، فقد تطلع للبحث عن ساعة وهمي على معصمه، وتجنب رؤيتي عارية، "يجب أن أذهب إلى هناك" ... نهضت، وتجنبت أثناء تعديل ملابسه، وذهبت إليه، أنا احتجزت عليه ضيق، وقال انه تعثر شيء مثل "الآن أنها لا تعطي، أو شخص يمكن أن تصل" ... أنا عقد وجهه مع تعبير جدي، وأجبره على قبلة لي ... يديه على صدري سحبتني بعيدا، غادر لي هناك، وغادر المنزل في عجلة من امرنا.

على نحو ما أعتقد أنني كنت واقفا هناك لسنوات عديدة، في انتظاره لوقف في منتصف الدرج، أو العودة، وتقبيل لي، أو تعطيني عناق، وأحيانا عندما أعتقد، أراه في أقل نظرة إلى الوراء ...

ولكن الحياة تذهب في اتجاه فريد من نوعه أن نبني مع خياراتنا ... قبل ذلك اليوم، كنا قد مؤرخة كثيرا، اليوم وأنا أعلم أنه كان يرجع تاريخها، ذهبنا إلى المركز التجاري، بقينا حتى وقت متأخر من شريط، حيث لدينا ... أكثر هذا الشخص لم يكن الشخص الذي أراد أن يكون '، أكثر مما كان يتوق إلى أن يصلح في، ليكون جزءا من هذا النظام الديني كله ... وخلق آليات للبقاء على قيد الحياة هناك ... وأن يشوه أي شخص ...

صورة له لا تزال تسبب لي ضجة عاطفة قوية جدا، لأنني اتبعت منذ فترة طويلة هذا المسار نفسه منه، ليكون ما توقعه الآخرون مني، الذي أعطى الفرح، فخر لهذا النظام كله، أن الثقافة التي توقعت بمحبة سجن بلدي خلية - زنزانة.

نيثان بالنسبة لي، لا يزال في الماضي الذي أتذكر باعتزاز، والذي يحتوي على التجارب التي دفعتني إلى اختيار أن يعيش بلدي أكثر الذاتي الأساسي، لا أستطيع أن أنسى أو يحتقر شخص رأيت رأسي روحي.

ومع ذلك أعتقد أنه في أحسن الأحوال أنا لنيثان اليوم، كصورة قديمة جدا، الذي تمحى شخصيته، ونحن لا نشكك أو يمكننا أن نتذكر من كان ... في السيناريو الذي كان لي أهمية في الماضي نيثان، سوف يكون شبح مجهول الهوية أو الهوية، والتي تعكس فقط جزءا منه، وحياته الماضية، وهو ما يفضل أن تبقي في غياهب النسيان، ودفن.

ونحن بالتأكيد نخوض نفس المواجهات، والمخاوف، وحتى الأرواح الداخلية.

هل وجد طريقه حقا؟

هل يمكن أن يكون قادرا على تشكيل نفسه وفقا لأهدافه؟

دون تشويه شخصيتك، أو باستخدام شخصيات مختلفة وحياة مزدوجة؟

امل ذلك!

بعد فترة من ذلك، لم أكن أراه ... كتبت له، أعتقد أن هذا هو خطأي، تعرضت لجرح في صدره يمكن أن يكون، وأعتقد أننا على حد سواء لم يشعر جيدا ...

لم يتكلم معي، التقيت به اجتماعيا في اجتماعات ديننا، وتحدثت معه، سألته، تجاهل لي، وقال انه بدا لي في عيون مع الاهتمام، كما لو كنت صامتا، ولا هو ولا أنا كانوا مستعدين لعواقب الإجابات التي طلبناها ...

قضى المزيد من الوقت، وذهب لي لزيارة بيتي مع بعض الأصدقاء المشتركة، ليقول لي انه كان في طريقه للعودة إلى وطنه، لعائلته، الانتهاء من مسار كان قد حان لفعل ... قال لي أنا تصور له إثارة لطيفة، وقال انه كان مليئا بالأمل في العينين، وكان أسباب لذلك، كان الشباب، والذهاب نحو إعادة تشغيل آخر ... شعرت بالخوف بالنسبة له، بعد كل ما أحبته، كصديق وشريك، وكل شيء آخر أن كان يمكن أن يكون!

وأنا أعلم أن نيثان إعادة حياتك في أوقات أخرى، حتى صغيرة جدا، وكان نيثان عالقة بالفعل في دورة من الذكريات، حنين هومزيكنيس، القديمة في الداخل، تحمل الكثير من الأرواح ... أكثر بكثير من ذكريات ما واجهه، رأيت في نظره عاطفي دائما، ذكريات الخيال، كل ما كان يمكن أن يعيش!

"في حين أن هذا قد يعكس حقيقة العديد من الشباب الديني الذين يجدون أنفسهم يواجهون الاكتشافات من المثلية أو ثنائية الجنس أثناء بناء إدخالاتهم، أي تشابه لقصة تعلمون سيكون فقط، مجرد مصادفة!

Neythan / English version

Neythan

By Gabriel Monteiro

Possibility of Revision, additions, exclusions.

Butterflies always come back ... it is their nature, some of the species, they are born far away, live lives, within their life, but always return to their nursery, their place of birth. In a way many of us humans are like that, no matter what complex mechanisms we have built to adapt to a social or familial environment ... we walk many different ways and ways in our lifetime, and when we least expect our more primary nature emerges at Conscious, making us what we are, no matter how many layers of new we have built around it!

I'm not Neythan.

Neythan was trapped within himself, possessed 2, 3, 4, or as many personalities needed to coexist with his desires, feelings, needs, duties imposed, and duties expected of him.

I am Lucas, the love that Neythan forbade to feel, I am the sensation, the desire for belonging that existed inside him by another man, today I understand it, more in the past when we met, I was also confused, in another depth, In a less evident way, experiencing fewer personalities ... but also locked in my world, in my cell, which I understand today, was not built by us ... we were born there and we followed the rules, and to fit in the forms chosen for us, in Deformed, become something between, our vocations, gifts and desires, and the character that is expected of us.

I am Lucas, by the irony of medical destiny. Very white by the Brazilian standard, red hair, I have many body hair, high, At that time of a closed religion, Neythan belonged to the same religion

When did I meet you? When did I see you for the first time?

I really have no idea, I know I was still very young, and it's like he's been my whole life by my side.

As a relative, a friend, someone who is part of your identity.

Although it is very clear, defined for me the presence of homosexual attraction in Neythan's personality, it is possible that he was bisexual by nature, since he used to show interest in the opposite sex when he was close to his sexual heterosexual friends. Although there are homosexuals who even marry, even claiming they have no real attraction for women ... The few reports of relationship or encounters that I heard about Neythan with the opposite sex involved confused and badly resolved stories ... more is common among bisexuals.

Being bisexual would explain his insistence on religion, many bisexuals feel socially more comfortable pretending to be only heterosexual, so they are socially comfortable, and are accepted, often opting for a double life, from time to time, when they feel homosexual attraction again.

Neythan, I can not define his color, he was white, but he was neither orange nor rosy, honey-colored hair and eyes, he was corpulent, always struggling to control his weight ... he was extremely charming, his communication nonverbal, Very efficient ... although with German name, its real ancestry was Italian, Its surname is classified like being toponímico, because its origin is geographical.

Neythan, with thick thighs like pillars of a temple, always sexually aroused, with penile volume in the highlighted fly ... body and facial expression of hunter ... contrast sometimes with the whirlwind of feelings that retained, it was strange because he only provoked, he was addicted To seduce ... and did so with the precision of an eagle.

Pectoral with the open social blouse, the invitation for a wine after religious worship, in the deserted street of the house where he was living ... the discovery that the desire to be just with one another can be greater than any convention, Or identity that has been imposed on us!

When the eyes touch stronger than the hugs, and the heat of the other's body emanates and you capture their emanations as an antenna the images ... When we no longer disguise our innermost intentions, when disguising ceases to make sense ... there were encounters and disagreements in those moments between me and him ...

Until the day of the stairs.

I went to wake him early, as we combined, to do a work together ... I entered the house of his relatives and renters who, when they were leaving, told me to go to his room that was the part ... as I approached he was lying down, The bedroom window where he lived was open,

Neythan was the type of meticulous man who controlled every detail of what you should see and understand ... that 'never' window was open ... this was the comment of one of the tenant relatives, observing from afar that the window was open ... " He must be awake, because that window is never opened in the morning! "

I approached and there I stopped next to the jamela, knew that he wanted to be observed, the renters left immediately for their works. He shirtless, assimilated my presence, spent a little time to make sure they would not come back ... he shifted on the bed, burly, of medium height, moaned a masculine name as if he were fucking ... he was sleeping just as I am at that moment that I write ...

He assured me, sure enough he wiped out any questions I had about what he 'liked' too. After a few moments he made her wake up and went to take a shower in the house of his renting relatives ... left the shower door open, and kept the dialogue with me, keeping me close to the door ... I saw him naked on the side, I almost walked in ... I was already Very excited physically, with my volume marking the trousers of the social trousers ...

... he came out of the bathroom, pants with suspenders, bare chest, we were very close, he felt my erection in his thigh back as he passed me towards a staircase that led to a large balcony on the 1st floor of Home of relatives Of the tenant, he stopped on a third of the steps ... he waited for me, and offered me help to climb the staircase, this was completely unnecessary, he touched my arm, I kissed him, first pulling through the pants suspenders to the My body, and I felt him wince with the strength of my arms.

I do not know how we got up there on the porch ... I just know for the first time on that ceramic floor, that feeling of belonging to the body of another ... when you can not rationally define where you begin and end the other ...

Neythan had few body hairs, with only feathers on his chest, arms, I was furrier, he was strong, but I dominated him, I entered him, I penetrated him in various ways, while he deliriated with pleasure ... when I returned, we kissed, We licked, licked, and we alternated between passive and active positions ... his penis was thick, mine too is ...

When one of us gave himself first to the weariness, the other accepted the request and rested between caresses, small bites, and kisses, which soon led us to the resumption of sexual activity, we went to the exhaustion of our bodies ... was already In the afternoon when he dozed like a child in my arms, the subtle wind swayed his thin strands of light hair ...

I felt that he woke up, tried to continue without movement pretending to sleep ... maybe he wanted to avoid my look, soon after all that, maybe he was not the same personality that was there next to my body, maybe it was a more convenient personality the double life that Him, and now I too would live

The fact check was inevitable, he got up looking for an imaginary watch on his wrist, avoided seeing me naked, "I have to go there" ... I got up, he avoided me while he adjusted his clothes, I went to him, the I held him tight, he stammered something like "now it does not give, or someone can reach" ... I held his face with a serious expression, and forced him to kiss me ... his hands on my chest, pulled me away ... I looked him steady, "you will not Do this to me! "I said, I felt myself shaking inside ... he left me there, and hurried out of the house.

The fact check was inevitable, he got up looking for an imaginary watch on his wrist, avoided seeing me naked, "I have to go there" ... I got up, I avoided while I adjusted his clothes, I went to him, The I held him tight, he stammered something like "now it does not give, or someone can reach" ... I held his face with a serious expression, and forced him to kiss me ... his hands on my chest pulled me away , He left me there, and left the house in a hurry.

Somehow I think I've been standing there for many, many years, waiting for him to stop in the middle of the stairs, or come back, and kiss me, or give me a hug, sometimes when I think, I see him at least looking back ...

But life goes in a unique direction that we build with our choices ... before that day, we had dated a lot, today I know that it was dating, we went to the mall, we stayed until late at the bar, where our souls touched ... more that person He was not the person he 'wanted to be', more than he longed to fit in, to be part of that whole religious system ... and created mechanisms to survive there ... and that distorts anyone ...

The image of him still causes me a commotion a very strong emotion, because I have long followed this same path of him, to be what others expected of me, which gave joy, pride to this whole system, that culture that lovingly projected my Prison cell.

Neythan for me, remains in a past that I remember fondly, which contains the experiences that led me to choose to live my most primary self, I can not forget or despise someone in whom I saw my soul reflected.

However I believe that at best I am for Neythan today, as a very old photo, whose character is erased, and we do not question or we can remember who it was ... in a scenario in which I had importance in the past of Neythan , I would be a faceless ghost or identity, which only reflects a part of him, and his past life, which he prefers to keep in oblivion, buried.

We certainly go through the same confrontations, fears, and even internal terrors.

Did he really find his way?

Could it be that he was able to shape himself according to his goals?

Without deforming your character, or using different personalities and dual lives?

Hope so!

For a while after that, I did not see him ... I wrote to him, I think that was my mistake, I exposed a wound in his chest that could be, and I think we both did not feel well ...

He did not speak to me, I met him socially in the meetings of our religion, I spoke to him, I asked him, he ignored me, he looked me in the eyes with attention, as if I were silent, neither he nor I were ready for the consequences Of the answers we sought ...

He spent more time, and went to visit me at home with some friends in common, to tell me that he was going to return to his homeland, to his family, finished the course he had come to do ... told me I perceived his gentle excitement, he Was full of hope in the eyes, had reasons for it, was young, going towards another restart ... I felt afraid for him, after all I loved him, as a friend, partner, and everything else that could have been!

I know that Neythan Restart your life at other times, even very young, Neythan was already stuck in a cycle of memories, melancholy homesickness, old inside, carrying so many lives ... much more than the memories of what he experienced, I saw in His always passionate gaze, the memories of the imagination, all that he could have lived!

"While this may reflect the reality of many young religious who find themselves confronted with discoveries of their homosexuality or bisexuality during the construction of their indenities, any resemblance to a story you know will only have been , Just a coincidence!

Travel the Origins

 The Pilot
By: L.Gabriel

Leaving the barracks and before proceeding with the life I took a trip with my family to the interior of Brazil to the first cradle of my ancestors in Brazil ...

During the trip, had sex with one of the pilots after we arrived at the airport ...

Every big guy and with a beard drawn, he came to cry like a virgin on the first night, pressed against lockers with his pants down to the knees  I grabbed her buttocks  and made him rub her ass in circles on my cock  with all my dick inside him, Tall and sturdy, robust  blond man ...

The masturbated   hugging him from behind and bit his neck... it with one hand to bring pulled my thigh against his body, I had removed our blouses, he groaned with my hairy chest on his back ...

My hands pressed firm your buttocks round and fleshy, around my dick  extremely thick, I did lie around time slowly,sometimes with more rhythm, when he picked up the rhythm that I like, between moans and tears  I masturbated him, a long stick, hard as steel and throbbing, was his dick ...

A guy came and watched,  looking half hidden, until I look back, and giving a stride toward him, I ran my hand the fly of his pants throbbing, and had all the pressure ... pulled him and kissed him on the lips, felt the shudder, and try to move away from my mouth, held him firm his head with one arm with the other arm invade the hair on his chest, his cock ...  ripping off his shirt  I sucked the breasts of man...

The pilot drunk with passion...  as my big hands and firm invaded the anus and erogenous zones of your friend... I changed the condom one with flavor him suck his friend ...

The Pilot I pulled for close to us ... his friend tried reluctant, his friend was reluctant, but I held his head and I made him suck the pilot... as his hands gripped went crazy in my tool ...

No endure horny   together attacked my dick tore the condom and breastfed together, sometimes biting,  they kissed, sometimes drank my my fluids... until I orgasm  in their faces ...

Hence induce the slimmer that was the friend  give  the ass for the pilot... the pilot stick as a teddy bear, I did he stick willing / and fuck intensely, I put his finger in her anus and stimulated, pushing her hips ....  the thinner moaned ... in the driver's ear I said: Ta seeing now it's your hooker, pulling the buttocks the Slim to the stick Pilot , I said this: you are satisfying your male

Previously ...

I had    bogged down with rider, in the boarding area,  when I saw her beauty, graceful beard, a bear, look affectionate, touched her waist slightly, inasmuch talked to him, smooth conversation,  he straightened his uniform inasmuch while we were chatting, he smiled, 

When he was away, My hand slid around her waist... I whispered to him to hear, A bear as this, it would be my toy forever... he bent his head down and ran her hands through her hair, fine and hairstyles ...

On the plane I came to know the cabin, and I was flirting with him ... he even allowed me  sit in the co-pilot's seat while the co-pilot was a coffee ... my cock was drooling in his pants ... I straightened me,   I numbed the senses the image of the man affectionate aspect, suit, and very, very kind ...

Before I raise the co-pilot's seat he (the pilot) gave me a mischievous smile, he said: _We are adults, you really liked so much from me ?! I look with drunk, I lifted me I was getting up with the thick stick,  long, making my bulky pants, I rubbed me on his shoulder my cock now throbbed, he licked his lips with intensity, so I told him: _ you is a dream ...

His question was made not only by my declared passion to look, but also because I praised every little detail of quality and your way ...  
That's when he asked me to find ourselves in a restricted area when we land.

He asked me to send the co-pilot, thinking I had completely left the cabin, called the friend and asked him to blocked access to other employees to this area, and asked that friend was not seen by me...   so I include it on sex, because I knew he was not someone who went there by chance, was one of rider confidence.

My family asked WHAT happened. because I told them I would have to reach our destination after ...

To Be Continued ...

Viagem as Origens

                               O Piloto     

     Ao sair do  quartel e antes de seguir com a vida,  fiz uma viagem  com minha família ao interior  do brasil  ao primeiro berço de meus ancestrais no Brasil...

     Na viagem transei  com  um dos  pilotos  depois que  chegamos  no aeroporto... 

     Todo  grandão e  com barba desenhada... ele  chegou a chorar como uma virgem  na primeira noite, pressionado contra armários com as calças  arriadas  ( decidas ) até os joelhos, eu  agarrava suas nádegas e o fazia rebolar com toda a minha piroca dentro dele, sou loiro, alto e robusto... 

     O masturbava  e mordia sua nuca... ele com uma das  mãos para traz puxava minha coxa contra seu corpo, eu havia arrancado as nossas blusas, e ele gemia com meu peitos peludo em suas costas... 

     Minhas mãos comprimiam firme suas nádegas redondas e carnudas, em volta do meu pau extremamente grosso, eu o fazia rebolar as vezes devagar, as vezes coma mais rítmo, quando ele pegava o ritmo que eu gosto, entre gemidos e lágrimas eu o masturbava, um pau longo,  duro como aço e latejante, era o pau dele..  

     Chegou um cara e ficou olhando, olhando meio escondido,   até  eu  olhar para traz,  e dando  um largo passo  na direção dele, passei a mão na braguilha de suas calças que latejava, e  estava  com toda pressão...  puxei este último e o beijei na boca, o senti estremecer, e tentar afastar minha boca, mas segurei-o firme com um dos braços sua cabeça e com o outro invadi os pelos do peito dele, seu pau... arrancando sua blusa mamei seu peitos... 

O piloto olhava embriagado de paixão... enquanto minhas mãos  grandes e firmes invadiam o anus e zonas erógenas de seu amigo... agarrei a rola do amigo dele, balançando para ele...

     Puxei o chorão para perto de nos...  o amigo dele  quis relutar , mas segurei sua cabeça e o fiz chupar o piloto... enquanto as mãos dele enlouqueciam agarradas na minha ferramenta...   

     Sem aguentar de tesão os dois partiram pra minha piroca arrancaram a camisinha e mamaram juntos, ora mordiam, ora se beijavam, ora bebiam minha baba... até eu gozar no rosto deles... 

     Dai induzi o mais magro  que era o amigo  dá pro piloto....  o piloto metia como um ursinho de desenho animado o fiz  o comer de verdade...  metia o dedo em seu anus e o  estimulava, empurrando seus quadris....   o mais magro gemeu ... eu disse: Ta vendo agora ele é sua puta , vc esta satisfazendo seu macho agora  vai.... gozaram  muito....  

Anteriormente...

     Eu  que havia  esbarrado com o piloto. na área interna de embarque,  ao ver sua beleza, barba graciosa, todo fortinho, olhar carinhoso, segurei em sua  cintura levemente, e teci suave conversa, ele arrumou seu belo uniforme, enquanto sorria...

     Quando ele foi se afastando, minha mão deslisou em sua cintura...  murmurei:  _Com um  ursinho desses  eu brincava pro resto da vida...  falei  pra ele ouvir , ele inclinou a cabeça de lado e  ajeitou os cabelos,  finos e penteados... 

     No avião eu fui conhecer a cabine e fiquei flertando com ele... ele até deixou  eu sentar na cadeira do co-piloto enquanto esse foi tomar um café...  meu pau ficou babando dentro das calças...  e eu me ajeitava  e me embriagava com a imagem daquele homem de aspecto  carinhoso, terno... e muito, muito gentil...  

     Antes de eu  levantar  da cadeira do co-piloto ele me deu um sorriu arteiro, e disse; _Somos adultos,  você gostou realmente tanto assim de mim?!  Eu com olhar embriagado,  fui me levantando com o pênis grosso e longo  atravessado nas calças... sarrei de leve o ombro dele com meu pau que agora pulsava, ele umedeceu os lábios com intensidade,  então eu lhe respondi:_ voce é um  sonho ...   

     A  pergunta dele se deu não só pelo meu olhar  de paixão declarada, mas também por  que eu elogiei cada pequeno detalhe das qualidade e jeito  que percebi nele...

Foi quando ele me pediu para nos encontrarmos  em uma área  de acesso restrito quando aterrissarmos 

    Ele me pediu pra chamar o co-piloto, pensando que eu havia deixado completamente a cabine, ligou  para esse amigo e pediu que ele  bloqueasse o acesso  até de outros funcionários a essa área,  e pediu que  esse amigo fosse lá mas  não se desse a perceber pois não me conhecia bem....  por isso eu o inclui na transa, por que sabia que ele não era alguém que entrou ali por acaso, mas era alguém da confiança do piloto.

Minha família perguntou oque ocorrera. pois eu lhes dissera que teria de chegar ao nosso destino  depois...

Phílip (Versão Inglês )

Male dolphins are usually bisexual, but they go through periods

  exclusively homosexuals.

  The homosexual activities of these mammals include oral sex during which a

  dolphin stimulates the other with its snout.

  Males also rub the erect penis against their partner's body.

  PHILIP

  By LGabriel Monteiro

  * Fernando took a break, from all the hustle and bustle of his daily life when he was fired from the office

  where he worked,

  Tired of the same faces, conversations, and petty interests,

  I suggested that you visit some new place,

  He wouldn’t even spend so much if he went to visit a relative or friend, and agreed to help with

  expenses ... but he didn't even want to ... and went on a trip.

  I just saw it again about 1 year later, thinner, different, with a huge desire to

  live, in some moments absent ... when I asked about the neighboring changes, he hurt me with a sharp look, an expression on his face that I couldn't read and said:

  _Phílip ...

  The Destiny was taken over by Fernando, and Fernando hurried to choose a place… for

  take stock of his life there ... he chose an island to reinvigorate himself!

  After a long catamaran trip, a time goes up that has become several

  times during the journey, he disembarked with his contact, address and hands.

  The tension soon faded when a boy ran up to him asking his name, after

  confirmed, he waved to a Mr who came to meet him, taking him to the holiday home

  furnished that he had rented.

  Now accommodated in a house, after a night's sleep, he went to get used to it.

  The first day he went to the beach, he saw him pass by.

  They were the first rays of sun, Fernando a little overweight, he wanted to

  to exercise,

  When a rapais came running on the beach, at that moment Fernando was tired of

  exercise was sitting in a corner near the sea ...

  ... the short stature, short, without a shirt, was white pink, through the drains,

  redheads almost feathered dewy all over the body in the same way, the breasts a

  little bulky ... he ran around in a cap.

  Fernando followed him with his eyes, the corridor realizing he looked at him, passed close by.

  He saw Fernando's green eyes dripping down his body, smiled, went on his way,

  But he made a thumbs up with his hand, around the corner ahead he turned his whole body and looked ... Fernando still

  followed with his eyes ...

  ... Phílip started running on his back and waved with both arms to Fernando, who was in doubt if he was waving at him.

  The boy waved afterwards, and I'm watching ...

  Nando laughed, and looked around, it was deserted, it could only be for him.

  Fernando was 38 years old, was a lawyer, lived a relationship with a relative

  (consaguinio) male for many years, since before college,

  He was discovered by the family, the partner could not stand the pressure and left him, the family aborted him.

  Only an aunt and a cousin were friends with him, his father and mother traditional evangelicals, did not see him or

  talked for a few years ...

  ... both sides had open wounds!

  Fernando was light brown, had legs and arms through the drains only, his package,

  the volume of the penis was discreet in size, but he could be dazzled by the perfect design of his penis flap, of course, he wore it in black trunks,

  He was shaved ... like a dating male, communicative, charming,

  He drew attention, but he preferred to be discreet,

  He was tall, with broad shoulders, but they didn’t look because they were slumped,

  His greenish-colored gaze was usually vivid, but took on an expression

  of drunkenness when sexually interested in someone.

  He had taken advantage of the sabbatical period that he imposed himself to try the use of a beard, but at times it bothered him.

  Around 9 o'clock in the morning, The Boy comes, the runner again, Now he was walking,

  If he was distracted by everything around him, his walk was funny, short and tall, he seemed to be marching, that was it or kicking,

  T-shirt in hands, expression of tired on the face, sweating.

  Fernando was on the devices that were on the sand of the beach under some trees where he had been exercising before,

  Fernando looked back and said:

  _And how will you keep an eye on me?

  Philip looked for where the sound came from, that beautiful voice.

  He found Fernando and looking at him smiled,

  Fernando remembered the figure of a panda ... Philip laughed a little shyly, and said:

  _ no, you can let me be more attentive ... but i'm watching ... he spoke doing the

  gesture.

  Fernando went towards him and shook his hand, it was soft, very light, he wore some kind of perfumed cream, which also exhaled from all over Philip's body.

  On impulse, Fernando wrapped his other hand around her, felt tension in him, even a little step behind, then another one in front.

  Philip looked at Fernando's face, who was smiling lovingly, though a little

  the boy’s comic, who was shorter than him,

  Now up close, Fernando noticed him very sturdy, with medium shoulders.

  _Vc is not from here is it?

  Asked young Philip.

  _ No, I am not, and who are you?

  Asked Fernando, moving towards nearby stools.

  Philip said:

  _ I live on the other side of the island ... but you can call me ... Philip

  In that Fernando looks back to hear him, and speaking louder to make up for the distance,

  he stopped and said:

  _ come sit and look tired.

  _Posso Call you Phil?

  Phil adjusting his cap, looking at him wanting to cheer up, said:

  _Phil, yes it was interesting ...

  Phil had liked the sound, the nobility of his new nickname.

  _And you, is it?

  Returned Phil

  _Fernando ... replied, noting that Phil alternated between moments of restlessness and even anxiety, with moments of total attention, and total calm.

  _Fê not ... Phil Phil closed closing one of his eyes Nando ... okay ?!

  Nando thought it was funny, in Phil's way of gesturing to speak,

  Often completing sentences with gestures,

  Nando told him that he was there to de-stress, that he had rented a vacation home

  over there, and one or another detail.

  Phílip was thrilled with the idea of ​​being his guide around the island, making broad gestures and

  he would get up to speak,

  Fernando could not contain his laughter with his manner and stories. stayed together strolling

  without realizing it ...

  It was only after lunch that Fernando started to look at him again with that first

  look of male desire, with which he initially looked at Phílip ...

  They arrived at a place, a corner with trees that cast shadows, in a small natural swimming pool, a small stream that ran towards the sea.

  But before it formed small pools of fresh water,

  There Philip entered the water was not cold:

  _ come, you didn't come to relax ?! Offering his hand to bring him to the small pool.

  Nando looking horny at Phil's thighs, which were deliciously thick and turned,

  Phílip did not know how to react when he realized the impending, Nando's harassment of him ...

  Phílip sat down, holding hands with Fernando, sat at the fair of the natural pool.

  Fernando passed in front of him about 2 steps, sitting just below Phil, leaned against his legs, smoothed his thighs, squeezing them,

  Fernando had sat down in front of Phil, and leaned his head on Phil's abdomen, part of Fernando's torso, between Phil's legs,

  And part of their bodies in the water.

  He held Phil in his arms firmly, pulling his head down to meet his head, so she kissed him,

  Phílip blushed like a teenager, shivered like a teenager, his heart dropped like a teenager!

  Nando looked at him as if he had been completely intoxicated, in the strength of that passion, pulled him bringing him to his side, on his chest.

  Entering like this without realizing yet another of the steps that would take them along the path where

  we see everything that made them one!

  _Cadê the cool guy who passed by and messed with me on the beach?

  Fernando asked putting his hand on his head, bolting on his cap.

  Phílip held the cap and said:

  _ yeah ... found out ... i just play cool ...

  And raising the look that was down he completed:

  _ ... I haven't had anyone for a long time ... like this ... to love.

  Fernando confidently insisted, fiddling with his cap, stammered:

  _Let me see you..

  Phílip gave in, letting him take off his cap, which Fernando put on a nearby branch.

  His hair was sparse and only slightly grown, it was a matt blond, very drained. Fernando stroked him and kissed his head.

  Fernando slid his hands over his Russian spleens, his hair stood on end, raised his head with his hands, looked him in the eye ...

  _And why didn't you let yourself be loved?

  Asked Fernando.

  Phil in a slightly shaky voice replied:

  _ there are people who hurt us ... do not know how to love ...

  Fernando lay down keeping himself under him in the sand,

  They were in the shade, and Fernando stretched and stretched, making the volume of his cock in his trunks emerge from the water, he did it looking at Phil,

  Phil looked at him without being able to hide it, the lust, the desire that had dominated him since he saw Nando looking at him on the beach.

  And the brunette is very attractive, he couldn’t notice his pole swelled up in his swim trunks since he removed the shorts he had put on over his swim trunks when they went to lunch.

  Phílip daydreamed looking at him, Fernando took him from the side on his chest, turning him over, brought Phil to lie on his chest,

  Fernando hugged him again, cuddling him in his naked body, Phílip smoothed him with caresses that became intense.

  Fernando breathed in control, Phílip's small, fleshy hands slid down Fernando's body to the cock, worthy of being called a rigid, throbbing mast.

  He responded to Phílip's caresses by closing his eyes and stifling his own groan… Only

  they heard the sound of the sea.

  Nando's penis was long and not very thick, with a red film flap,

  wine color,

  Nando's club vibrated, Phílip stroked his cock. and with the other hand and his lips caressed the nipples of the

  Nando's breasts

  Philip went up and looked for Fernando's wet kisses.

  Fernando felt Phílip's cock squeezing it, stroking his member, Fernando guided by Phil's continuous and gentle intensity, touched his cock, caressed it, bringing it to you ... it was thick, of medium size, all plump and hairy ,

  Fernando looking at him, while licking, said:

  _ even has bangs ...

  Phílip laughed.

  Fernando held him tightly in his arms, and looking at his small, fleshy lips, he kissed him,

  Hugging him chest to chest, he felt Philip's heart race.

  Fernando held his head from behind, and his body with his other arm,

  Philip sought his embrace ... grabbing Nando's embrace.

  From what I could see, it was at this very moment of joy, caress and surrender, that they

  confirmed that first connection that took place on the beach ..

  They spent the afternoon loving each other little by little, until nightfall there, but before night fell completely they came out of the water,

  And they went under some big trees, from where you could see a spectacular

  sunset .

  There they loved each other between periods of rest, putting on all night,

  The body of one looked for that of

  another as the repetition of a natural need, as if it were one of those habits that we have been repeating for years, until they become naturally routine.

  ... it was one of those moments that are already born eternal, Of those moments in which somehow

  way we know that we are living something unique, important to our history.

  Nando sat leaning against a rock, Phíl completely naked, lying next to him looked at him in full Cio by his lover,

  Phil got up, and went to sit on Fernando's feathers, in the volume of the brunette in the middle of his legs, all lit up by that moon.

  A deliciously indescribable male smell emanated from Fernando's swim trunks ... Those odors and sensations did not allow them to disconnect ...

  Slowly, with affection and little by little Nando led Phil to the insanity of passive lust, licking him, with the heat of his mouth on his ears, catching him dominating, the fun with the rocky cock stuck in the swimwear on his skin ... Possessing him, being instigated by Phíl ..

  .... little by little Nando's long penis was inside his

  Phil bear, all the way into Phil's buttocks… he felt that mast with a

  ecstasy that he had never experienced with any other Man.

  Nando hugged him and kissed his mouth, on his side, grabbed his massive caressing breasts, nibbled him kissed Phíl, smiled in stasis, and bounced around on Nando's cock, moaning ...

  _does it hurt?

  Asked Nando.

  Dai nibbled again ...

  _and so?

  With their arms and legs intertwined, Phil forced Nando's eggs to feel his own, and Nando

  didn’t take the stick out of Phil ...

  ... Holding Phil by the buttocks, I just wanted to get in and get into this male, who pulled him, and instigated him into his buttocks, over and over!

  Phíl sometimes got horny other tickles according to the way Nando touched him ... finally they didn't have the perception where one started and the other ended ...

  ... in that Phil fidgeted with Nando's whole cock inside him ...

  .

  Nando masturbates Phil's breasts and grabs his cock, realizing that when he bends Phil's cock sideways, it wiggles with pleasure.

  Phil had his first orgasm with Nando like that ... without taking any more of the lust that Nando caused him, surrendered to roasted chicken, being kissed and fucked by

  Nando, who fucked and fucked him!

  Phil was very tight and enjoyed Nando well being stocked,

  Nando strong pulled him with his arms to his dick ... kissing and licking his face, and breasts,

  Nando finally gave all his pleasure to Phil's body… if

  he arrested Phil's body by

  waist, poured into him with a loud moan ...

  They passed out without strength, in the nest they had made with the clothes and leaves ...

  Fernando was bathing when Philip woke up around 6 ... he woke up half drunk, staggered, jumped,

  Very nervous, he looked even more like a panda bear, he was in the water and hugged Nando, laying his head quickly on his shoulder.

  Fernando tried to explain that he didn't want to wake him up, but he stayed there to take care of him.

  Philip kissed them and said:

  _must be looking for me, they must be very worried ... since I didn't die, they will

  kill…

  Nando brought him back to bathe in the sea, he didn’t want to, Nando washed him,

  _that boy, don't freak out!

  And Phil kind of left himself in Nando's capable hands, but he repeated himself:

  _must be looking for me, they must be very worried ... since I didn’t die they will kill…

  _Who what? Asked Nando stunned.

  He was already walking to one side then he started walking to the other side ... Nando o

  stared still.

  _comes !! said Phíl, looking at Nando with only one eye slightly open ... because of the sun, Nando had been momentarily inactive, so Phil took the arm of black hair, and carried him by.

  _I left my room closed, help me up without anyone seeing ... then we pretend to have woken up if I'm not fried ...

  Protested swim said everything was meaningless ...

  _The rules are there for Dina Ester! Phíl said:

  _She is cool but very protective.

  _Quem D Ester? Her lordship? Inquiry Nando trying to understand

  _ ... stay still and help me up, Nando couldn't help but have fun with all that ...

  And Phil grabbed him with both hands on his arm, maybe black hair.

  They were trying to climb a little-used staircase, when a lady and a gentleman saw them and were going to start saying loudly:

  _this here ..he arrived, but Phílip made a sign of silence, raising his legs and knees while gesturing "please", the crowns laughed, nodded their heads ...

  _Lipinho where they were .. his mother did not sleep. The lady said the subject ...

  You were greeting Nando and saying:

  _The Lip is terrible boy ... knows that the relatives are concerned, but ... Lip interrupted them kissing the cheeks of the elderly, with cuddles, and saying:

  _amos ... You can go don't tell me, Jesus doesn't like hard fingers. He was speaking away from the kind elders.

  They went up the side, and entered the room by a small balcony.

  Inside, Philip's space was very well organized, a studio called attention, occupying a space divided between paintings and sculptures,

  The sculptures are very detailed, almost all unfinished… the sculptures mixed visual elements,

  Fernando saw an angel whose physical constitution was of roots, stones, the leaves of leaves…

  From what he understood later, he produced for some family decoration stores, in addition to selling on the internet at fairs.

  There in his room there was a big bathtub where they showered and changed their clothes.

  Nando felt himself to be part of a fantasy, so different from his world, that it proved to be utopian.

  Part of the time Phil reminded him of a loving childhood with his chaste brother, and cousins,

  Since Phil washed Nando's and dried quickly, the interesting thing is that Nando didn't even realize that he felt induced to help him bathe, and ended up dating,

  Kisses, perfume, saw that the cream in his hand was a sunscreen 70, took him in her arms and clung to him on the bed.

  He fucked dick with dick kissing, Lip's tongue was a short and chubby delight.

  At last they suckled, but only Nando came, his long mast was almost completely swallowed,

  But Phil licked his head more, which was beautiful burgundy and drooled all over,

  Nando came with Phil holding his dick with both hands and sucking hard on the head of his dick,

  Finally Phíl stayed in bed and it appeared to Nando that he was not well.

  _no call is just a dizziness ... silly we haven't eaten since yesterday.

  He took some medicine and went to the table, when some boys approached, they said:

  _don't deny saw him ...

  _They said they saw him… they saw him with an unknown dark man yesterday morning ...

  _Ha if he is alive I will kill him ..

  Lip sat on his back they didn't see him ... So involved were in the matter.

  He gestured for Fernando to sit down, Nando sat down and said good morning ... so they saw him first, Then Phil asked:

  _now did you make curd, cheese?

  Everyone on hearing spoke Asked, complained ... protested ...

  _Sim this was my kidnapper ... Nado raised his hand, and wanted to smile ..

  _No, I did not sleep outside the house, I only arrived late and I went out ...

  Fernando saw that they were noisy, Suddenly a little lady, very well dressed, came to the table and just looked at the two, Fernando pointed her at Lip ...

  _no No boy, he doesn't care ... he wants to see me having a thing.

  She was Russian, few wrinkles, she wore a beautiful sun hat, even on the balcony ... Lip went to her:

  _vc loves me, he can't be mad at me ... she looked at him between hurt and affection ...

  A little tickling, a few grabs, and the lady stopped talking to him in German.

  Soon Nando was there every day, the days became weeks, and weeks months.

  He was disputed by Lip's cousins ​​and cousins. One helped the entrance exam to another with the car engine,

  They were always all together, after all, it was a cluster of houses, mostly interconnected, very well built, but some were attached to each other ...

  From time to time Aunt Marcília the lady who saw him coming said:

  _the guys let the two of them date, what do you think Nando was doing here to see you guys swollen? And laugh,

  Nando was surprised that everyone knew about his courtship with Phil, and everyone treated them as normal, especially since most of them were evangelicals.

  One day Phil's cousin, Phil's best friend, Dâmaris, at the table having a coffee at night with Nando explained their point of view:

  _… We love him, and we have to demonstrate that, Jesus did not say that his disciples would be recognized for his judgments, or for demanding that others live as we do,

  _ Jesus said, that love would be the mark that identifies His true followers,

  She added with tears in her eyes:

  _We love cousin Phil recognizing his good qualities,

  What he does with his personal life, or with anyone else, was not given us the right by God to judge or intervene ...

  _... if one day someone asks us for help or asks what we think, we speak the truth that it is something we cannot practice,

  _Mais we don't think we can execute judgment on anyone according to our myopic vision ...

  .

  _... Jesus said with the judgment with which jokes you will be judged, and measured with the measure you measure ... So cousin if we use a measure without mercy, or if we become executioners of our neighbor imposing on others “rules that we choose to our lives ”… we lost the essence of being Christians, We would be choosing for ourselves the same type of judgment in the hands of God given to the Pharisees.

  Nando was impressed by the clarity of Danaris' spiritual vision, lamenting so few practicing Christians being so well informed of the limits of their role.

  Sometimes Phil slept a lot, one day he may notice the distress of Dn Ester his mother when trying to wake him up,

  He thought it was just his impression, or even the exaggerated care of a slightly more protective mother.

  That night a group of young people got together to go to the beach.

  _Phil are you going? Asked Dn Ester already worried!

  _I'm a mother… there will be a lot of people.

  She spoke, gesturing, seeking support from others. Damaris, her closest cousin, said:

  _Aunt Nando is going there, to be with Phil… Just like that, Mrs. Ester relaxed.

  The night was a huge full moon, everyone laughed, had fun, some even howled, drank,

  At one point Nando walked away with Phil, wanted to date him without the curious looks, or the group's interaction messing them up.

  Phil was kind of shy, just showered in shorts, ended up getting more sensual, because of the models he wore,

  Even lined with an internal flare, the shorts were slightly wet when wet, or emphasizing their penile volume even more.

  Nando was already practical and traditional, in his swim trunks, model box, in black veiled color, of those that even in the light of day, being a few meters away we cannot perceive the volumes, or some drawing ...

  ... unless he stood in profile, then the contours of his sexuality symbol were drawn.

  The fabric of Phil's shorts touched Nado's skin making him shiver, as it was thin but very silky, with water at the height of his chest,

  Nando played wrestling, with Phil, letting that dominate him ... the sea water was deeper for Phil, who had smaller physical stature than Nando's.

  Phil held him, embracing him from behind… Nando nibbled on his arms…

  ... Nando felt Phil embrace the embrace, and then dive in. Nando instinctively attributed the dive, to a nibbling reaction, then turned and dove saying:

  _A You will not run away from me. And he was groping nearby in the water, which was black because of the late night, but lit by the full moon.

  He emerged calling for Phil:

  _Look at the joke Phil ... he was already shouting his name in this 1st instant, all that subconscious perception that he had been accumulating,

  From the overprotection of Phil's family ... the puzzle pieces emerged in his consciousness now, in the form of a spike of despair ...

  He shouted at his cousins ​​waving at them, they soon saw because they were not too far away ... on the second dive he found Phil's body almost completely passed out, being pushed by the waves towards the beach ...

  O Withdrew from the sea and helped him, Phil threw up water ... the sounds and things said by cousins ​​and cousins ​​some already in tears,

  The noise of the ambulance coming, The expression of shame in Phil's eyes, trying desperately to keep his hand on Nando's arm,

  Nais not being able to control the strength of his hands, and letting go of Nandi's arm… Nando was holding him… hugging him… he repeated:

  _I am here ... I love you.

  All this Nando confusedly remembered as part of a bad dream, while he dozed in the chair of the hospital room, that Phil was in that morning.

  He came to know Phil's diagnosis, a non-malignant tumor, but it was located in a part of the brain that was not possible to operate. They had already undergone treatments, but it looks like the tumor will grow back.

  Its ground broke, Nando was already thinking about staying there, increasing Phil's house, because the land was a cluster of interconnected houses or not.

  She was thinking about setting up a law firm, or opening a business using the local vocation ...

  Fernando remembered the other relationships he had, including the women he had relationships with ... people who used him, and the ones they used,

  Relationships always based on the most diverse interests, where the law of compensation governed without requiring decency or values.

  There looking at Phil sleeping, with his extremely angelic appearance, remembering that he was never angry, or sad, he never looked or treated anyone as if he were inferior to him,

  He was simply pure in heart. Nando's breath was uneven, and as never before, a pain as strong as only true love can cause hurt him,

  That pain strangling his throat, and putting a taste of the purest gall in his mouth.

  His eyes sparkled with a mixture of hatred, anger and helplessness… that's when he felt the soft touch of Phil's gentle, warm hands, stroking him.

  Phil looked at him with a doglike look that broke the vase… When Phil noticed his condition he said:

  _No, don't do it like that… with Phil's touch, and his safe voice Nando collapsed, Phil took him in his arms ...

  In the period that followed Nando took him away from the island, as he claimed to have never known any place except that island ..

  Dona Ester did not object. She loved and trusted Fernando from day one ...

  Nudes, now Nando who took refuge in his arms his lap avoiding thinking not to suffer.

  Especially after love ... I saw that strong boy who didn't feel sorry for himself, and who took care of his family with extreme affection, to have his life by a thread ...

  On top of him lying Nando's stick drooled over his, Nando's scent was strong and enveloping,

  Phílip suckled her breasts, with caresses with her tongue on her nipples, Phil's eggs (sac) were bigger and Nando loved to fuck them, suck them, come there ...

  Phil moaned when his cuddles touched, rubbed, And Nando Long's tongue filled his mouth like his dick ...

  Suddenly Nando suspended him and his cock invaded Phil's anus,

  Phíl hugged him tightly and moaned loudly calling him his man ...

  ... his hoarse and sweet voice intoxicated him like alcohol, sometimes Nando stopped the fuck just to drink Phil's milk was thick and ferocious ...

  ... then I went back to fucking him like a beast, the two of them in a heat that only insane lovers can understand.

  They traveled for some time, and came back ... At Dn Ester's house, there were purchases for the welfare of Nando, from toothbrush to slippers for Nando, who lived on the indemnity he took when he left the office, and other income.

  The summer said goodbye, and the winter made Phil very quiet, almost sulking,

  They watched movies, naked under the duvet, argued why Phil did not want to pass exams and more doctors, because he had already gone through it ...

  ... and they loved each other as they could be eternal in those moments!

  Nando glided over that white skin now with dense and angry hair, suckled Phil's big tits,

  Phil squirmed when Nando always invaded his anus with his tongue after the shower ...

  ... his long tongue ... bit and sucked his anus and then fucked him by putting all the long, whole, and letting him roll on that donkey stick ...

  ... sweaty loved ones slept snuggled together.

  The winter was strong, rough sea, and foggy.

  One day Phil woke up early, he was restless, he was sweating a little,

  Fernando noticed but even so they went for a run, he knew that Phil when he was like that, he went out anyway,

  So he went with him as usual. On the island, the sun appeared among heavy clouds, giving false hopes,

  Phil ran a little and soon got tired, leaned against Nado, Nando hugged him, it was drizzling that part of the way,

  _wants to go back? Nando insisted ..

  _never came back from a walk, Philip spoke looking at him with only one eye, half closed ...

  _Help me ... I don't want to end it with anyone else ...

  Fernando's eyes did not contain the bags of tears that flowed down his face like a child's, and he looked and saw his Phil, strong smiling ... holding on to his shoulder ...

  _the hour that I go_ he said, Nando shuddered, making a gesture with the face of no. Phil insisted with a smile:

  ._when I go ... Nando heard Lip speak in a shaky voice .. The rain intensified.

  _ I will have lived and loved without regrets ...

  _ I used to be a nurse, I met people who left without really knowing love .... Phil showed very tired without air ...

  _I met you ... and I love you ... .I love how I love you ... Phil put one hand on his chest and slowed down the walk

  _ I feel you inside. He spoke by placing one of Nando's hands on his chest.

  Nando hugged him ... Nando's voice was torn, like a dog's frown, as he said:

  _ don't do that ... please God ... _Let's go back ... your family ... call your doctor ... said try to speak Nando, knowing that Phil would never do that ...

  _I love them but I just want to be with you at that time .. Phil held Fernando ... and brought him to the place of their first meeting where they loved each other ...

  Fernando stayed there ... where Phil stopped and cried compulsively, Phil smoothed his face, he was very dizzy ...

  "Do you think I didn't want to stay ... really?" But I was happier than any man can be ... he spoke, clinging to Nando's coat.

  Phil lay on his chest the rain stopped they were lying.

  Fernando kissed him and hugged him tightly as he could keep him there with the strength of his will ...

  Phil hummed a song softly, like the naive sound, and drummed the rhythm of the music with his fingers on Fernando's chest, the

  Little by little his fingers stopped, and then the sound stopped, and a maddening silence invaded Nando's soul ...

  ... I believe that it had driven the Fernando I knew crazy, tense, proud, competitive, selfish!

  But the Nando played by Phil, could not betray such pure feelings, values ​​that were resurrected in his soul,

  Fernando hugged him, and heard him say you are in here ... I don't want to end this walk with anyone else ...

  And Fernando, got up, put his glass in his arms and took it home ... a strong storm fell over the island, and an empty cold filled them all ...

  They fixed it, he looked like a prince, all in white!

  Dona Ester had been an evangelical but distanced herself from the place of worship she used to go to, when one of the pastors and some members of the church started looking with disdain at her son because he was a homosexual,

  Even so, many remained friends with her and Philip, giving them much help. An elderly pastor who held him drinks on his lap, and who had true fatherly love for him, made his funeral speech.

  Her mother told Fernando that he shouldn't bury his life there in the midst of memories ... she is a strong woman like her son.

  She told him that he would always have a family there, that he will always be Uncle Nando, who taught everyone to call Lip Phil, and gave him his little house ...

  He stayed with Esther a few days later, he left, encouraged by Ester, with the example of Phil alive himself, I went to find and rebuild the ties with his…